Local Happenings

It’s been two weeks since we’ve posted, and though things have been happening here, they’re not really “share with the world” worthy. Would you guys really enjoy reading a blog about making dinner, doing dishes, and laundry? Because, I wouldn’t.

Although… Catie reads a LOT of blogs about food. Her new addiction, and yes, I mean addiction, is Keto. The diet, the recipes, the daily weigh-ins (which no one should do!) and the constant experimentation with new meals. However… The house as a group has benefited from her obsession. The food is delicious, and both Catie and Paul have lost some weight. As a result, Catie’s body is thanking her by feeling great. But Paul is Paul and hasn’t shared anything about his body. Well… except his penis. He’s happy to share anything about that. Anything you’d like to know. Just ask.

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Hi there, Catie here: I happen to love Paul’s penis and how willing he is to share it, the slut. Also, food blogs are the best, so many good ideas for whatever food preferences, allergies, restrictions you might have. People are creative and sharing, and it’s wonderful. Face.book is also a great place to find and share recipes. Trust me, I don’t use it to talk to friends anymore; it’s all food talk, all the time, with complete strangers. And now this: Keto, Keto, Keto, weigh in, weigh in, weigh in. I’m only a little obsessed. I feel great and I fit into smaller jeans today, but I’m super frustrated with the scale not moving. It’s okay though, I ordered a new scale and it will be delivered tomorrow. Maybe this one will like me better.  

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The kids are the same. T is on summer vacation and still grumbles whenever we ask her to step away from you.tube. But it’s happened so often, I just say, “We’ve talked about this…” and she puts the iPad away, before sitting on the couch like this:

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“I’m soooo bored………….”

Bina comes home from her retail job with interesting stories about her customers. Did you know that you’re racist if you’re a cashier and are unable to change corporate policies? That was a new one for me. Clearly it has nothing to do with the position within the company. All cashiers are lying when they say they can’t change corporate policy. And they do so because they’re all racists.

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Bina’s stories are the best. They almost make me want to work retail again, with all the knowledge I have now. Back when I did work retail, I was young and new to the world of customers, so I was always trying my best to people please. Now? I’d ride that “you’re a racist” wave as far as it would go for the joke. I’d probably video tape the exchange with my phone, too. Fire me. I’ll have a job at the store in the next building by the end of the day.

As for me… I’ve had a few book signings. My most exciting one was at a local Barnes & Noble. It still feels surreal, like I’m acting, pretending to be something I’m not. Logically, I know I wrote those stories; I know I worked with editors; I know I had the books formatted and uploaded. But I don’t feel like a “real” author. Crazy, I know. What would make it “real” for me? No clue. But I still have the Barnes & Noble poster listing me as a “featured author.” Yeah, I’m thinking of framing it.

I even have fans. Yup. For real. I had one email me saying, “I absolutely love love love love love love your style of writing [yes, that’s six loves] I can’t wait for the next book… thank you thank you thank you for creating such a wonderful piece of art.” That’s an honest to goodness quote. I screeched when I read it.

Yes, yes, she did screech; it was fun to hear and super exciting. Books 4 and 5 will be fantastic, not that I’ll ever get to read them. I’ll just have to trust the reviews and fan mail.  😀 

Yup. I have two in progress, both scheduled to be out in October this year. One is solo work; the other is a collaboration with another author, whom I adore.

Which reminds me. If I’m going to get them done, I need to actually write them.

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Lena

 

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