Hi there, Catie here! It’s been a minute since we’ve written, hasn’t it? You’d think with three of us around that keeping up with weekly blog posts would be doable. You’d think wrong. So what have we been up to since we last chatted? Lots of stuff.
The political climate in our lovely country somehow managed to get worse, which is frankly amazing. Just when I thought things couldn’t get any more dismal. Surprise! Sigh. But we’re not here to talk about that, are we? We’re here to talk about us!
First things first: Milkweed. I am very sad to announce that our happy little caterpillar did not survive turning into a pupa. She somehow got infected with butterfly “black death” (Google it, it’s not pretty) and we lost her. The same week we lost Milkweed we found a second pupa outside that was also infected. The bacteria that causes this black death loves warm and damp and we had an unusually wet late summer.
We miss you, Milkweed
Lena has been studying up and fully plans on bringing more eggs and caterpillars into the house next year. I’m still pretty sure that we should just nurture the milkweed plants living in our yard and let mother nature handle the rest. She’s been raising butterflies for quite a while so I think she might know best. Also, it was sad to lose the little bug and I’m not sure I want to go through all that again.
Hi, Lena here. 🙂 I agree that mother nature has a lot more experience, and would do very well raising those monarchs, but humans are slowly destroying the planet. Pollinators need our help. I’m not sure what I’ll do next year, but I’ll figure something out.
In much, much happier news, T turned 16!! It’s crazy to think that the youngest of our brood is now in her MID-teens! When we figure out how that happened so quickly we’ll be sure to let everyone know, for now it’s a mystery. T seemed to have a great couple birthday weeks. She received lots of presents, went to a carnival, ate at her two favorite restaurants, had a chocolate on chocolate birthday cake and enjoyed a weekend away with the family. The hotel had fantastic water views, a hot tub, indoor pool and WiFi. So it was pretty much T heaven.
The adults really needed this weekend away, too. Like any other relationship we had a couple rocky days that involved some shouting (by me) and wall punches (by Paul) and someone sleeping in the basement because sometimes you just need space to reevaluate your whole life (also me.) All relationships are hard folks. We got over it and it’s all sunshine, rainbows and great sex again.
Hey, Lena revisiting. I know we mentioned that we’d post the good, bad, and ugly, so I’m going to share the ugly. This most recent tiff was about fair division of work/chores around the house. Paul and Catie do 90% of the house “stuff,” be it dinner, laundry, shopping, cleaning, etc., while the rest is divided by Bina, T, and me. That’s terrible math and most certainly not fair. I’m not arguing.
If you’re toying with the idea of polyamory, this is something that needs a serious conversation. The three of us view the world in drastically different ways, and this is one of those things that will fester if not brought into the open.
I am a procrastinator. I’ll let things sit until I have no choice but to “bite the bullet” and get it done. For example, I’ll let the dishes sit until there’s no more space in the sink. And then, I’ll take care of it in one shot. Paul and Catie are not like that, at all. Paul will clean the dishes before they land in the sink, and Catie cleans them immediately after eating. By the time I’m “ready,” they’re done. The same applies to other stuff around the house.
(Side note: The following doesn’t apply to arts and craft or book stores. I can get lost in those for hours… days…) When it comes to shopping, I go in like a soldier on a mission. (Let the record show that shiny does happen and I’m known to wander off. But for the most part, I–) Grab the stuff on the list and get out. Done. Paul and Catie wander through the store and chat about what’s needed, what’s on sale, what they have coupons for, etc, etc, etc. I do not enjoy the process. I’d much rather stay home and write.
So, yes. There was a bit of a fight over how they do everything. But the fight didn’t start because I didn’t agree. It started because of attitude.
Allow me to explain. Paul came in and told Bina to do something. Bina didn’t do it immediately. (She’s my daughter – aka, procrastinator.) When he returned a half hour later, it was still undone, and there was a rather harsh comment about it getting “thrown in the garbage.” Bina and I were taken aback by the passion (aka anger) in the statement. It was a half hour. And when he looked to me for support, I didn’t give it to him. In my opinion, the offense didn’t deserve that level of anger. Bina got up and took care of it.
I tried to stay out of it. That was my goal. Instead of commenting one way or the other, I remained silent and returned to my writing.
Unfortunately, I’m not a good poker player and my face reveals my thoughts, whether I want it to or not. I tried to keep it neutral, but I guess I failed, because all of a sudden, he grumbled, “What?!” I shook my head and said, “Nothing.” To which he replied something along the lines of, “What’s the face for?” At that point, I took a deep breath and said something like, “I don’t want to talk to you right now. You’re pissed off and there’s nothing I can say that won’t end up causing a fight.”
Guess what happened?! I’ll give you one guess.
Enter loud voices, some arguing, some crying, and everyone sleeping alone that night. The one thing that I hope came out of it was that if they want me to do something, then they tell me what they want done. Because a lot of it was that I didn’t help enough. I don’t deny it. If I can avoid it or procrastinate on it, I do.
Also, in hindsight, the words I used were not the best. Perhaps next time he storms in with his hulk attitude, I’ll give him a hug and say, “Let’s talk a little later.” (Though, honestly, I don’t think it’ll work.)
Now, back to the regularly scheduled program:
While Lena wrote and T and Bina enjoyed the pool and hot tub, Paul and I went to the local Car Museum. Yes, there are such places. I was surprised too. Paul is the car buff not me so I wasn’t expecting to enjoy the trip but I ended up having fun. Lots of different cars from different places and eras. I generally enjoy museums and this one was no exception.
Before we went home we rounded out the weekend with the Rotary’s Annual Charity Car Show. There were over 600 cars, every year, make and model you can imagine. One of Paul’s friends from work was there showing his car so we stopped by to chat for a bit before exploring the rest of the area. So. Many. Cars. Old cars, new cars, fancy cars, 1940’s army vehicles, Model A’s, Model T’s. Delorean’s decked out with time machine parts. Seriously, if it had wheels it was represented somewhere. It was fun and Paul and I came home with some ideas for his Camaro.
So that’s pretty much what we’ve been up to. I’m going to set a reminder in my phone to write a Five on Friday post this coming week.