Turn and face some hard talks… Hi there, Catie here!
It’s time for good news/bad news.
The good news first: I got a new job!!!
After 22 years at one company (that was slowly sucking my soul away,) I’m leaving and I couldn’t be happier.
Hello, Lena here. We are so, so happy for her!
The bad news: I’m taking a pretty big pay cut. One that, honestly, has me a little nervous. Which brings us to the subject of the blog: Difficult Conversations.
I felt pretty good about the interview, so I told Paul and Lena (separately, because the three of us are in the same room far less often than you’d think,) that if I did get this job, I wouldn’t be able to contribute financially as much as I currently do. But really didn’t go into detail because why bother? As well as the interview went, I still kinda thought I wouldn’t get an offer. It’s an entry level position, (one that I’m very interested in and will learn a TON from,) and my resume says I’m over qualified (so did the hiring manager.) The big money talk could wait until I actually got an offer. Everyone had a heads up and a chance to voice concerns. At the end of the day though, if I got an offer, I was going to take it (see soul crushing above.) Even if it meant moving out (NOT ending the relationship) because I couldn’t contribute enough (again, soul crushing.)
Despite her concerns, Paul and I would never ask her to leave because she couldn’t contribute “enough.” First, she pays way too much already. Second, there are a lot of different ways an individual “contributes” to a family. Besides, that’s the whole point behind being a “family,” we support each other. And I, for one, know just how horribly, soul-crushing that job is. If I could leave too, I would–in half a heart-beat. So, we will be celebrating her escape from that place!
I know money is one of those topics that can kill a relationship. I read somewhere once that it’s the #1 reason couples divorce. Now imagine having three people involved with money decisions. We’re luckily because we generally keep finances separate. But we have an account that we all deposit into for shared household expenses and I pay for all our streaming services and all the “kids” are on my phone plan. So we do have some overlap and that’s what we’d need to dig into.
And then I actually got an offer… And then I accepted it. And now… well, we’ll have to talk more about it soon. I’d sorta like to wait and see what my first paycheck will actually be before we make too many major decisions, but I think I’ll need to plan on being poorer than I’m used to for a while – or on finding a part time job, maybe a weekend U.ber driver? Nah, I’m part of generation X, and we generally hate people. So any kind of customer service probably isn’t a good fit for me.
It was difficult for me to bring up the topic at all. I have a couple deep rooted beliefs around money. The first is that it’s evil, dirty and just not something you talk about with anyone. The second is that I should always be able to pay my own way in the world. This philosophy was working pretty well for me when I was the only one responsible for making decisions. This is new territory for me.
Unlike Catie, I love money. To me, it’s a tool that equals joy and freedom. Money allows me to go on vacation. It lets me buy a new car. It keeps me fed, clothed, healthy. Money is a tool to be used. And yes, just like anything else, there are some that use that tool to hurt others, but that’s all it is.
So yes, we’ll have that yucky talk about money, but at the end of the day, we’ll be fine. We share the good and the bad.
And, yes, we also share colds… Because sharing is caring!
Until next time…